The nap at 3 years may get even later, pushing toward 1 or 2 pm and ending around 3:30 or so. Most children start to give up their nap somewhere between 3 and 4 years. However, your child may continue to nap as late as age 5 (if you’re lucky!), and some kids do transition earlier. As with other nap transitions, you’ll know your child is ready to give up the nap when either (1) he begins to consistently refuse his nap, either chatting, talking, or playing in his bed at length, or crying and protesting; or (2) the nap becomes so late that it interferes with his ability to go to bed at night earlier than 8:30 (the latest bedtime we recommend through age 5). Remember to rule out acute teething, illness, or other unusual circumstances (such as a new baby in the home) when determining whether your child is truly ready to give up his nap.

When your child begins to transition from one nap to none, you’ll enter the last “Yuck Zone” where he will vacillate between needing and refusing a nap. For a while, you can follow his lead: when he does nap, maintain the bedtime as usual. If he refuses the nap, however, you’ll need to put him to bed unusually early (by as much as 1 hour, if necessary). You can “cheat” by driving for the nap for a little while if the car puts him to sleep – though many parents who experiment with trying to do only one short “blip” nap in the late afternoon, even in the car, often greet a very cranky bear upon waking, and if that’s the case for you it isn’t worth trying for it. When you make the leap to giving up the nap entirely, your child will be able to stay up till his usual bedtime after a few weeks. Bonus: after they’ve given up their nap, many kids will actually tack on additional sleep to their nighttime total, sleeping as much as 12 or 13 hours straight through. Enjoy it while it lasts!

A lot of parents worry about a child being forced to give up his nap before he is ready, due to preschool schedules beginning in the summer or fall. Usually this is the case for a child scheduled in an afternoon program. If this is the case for you, you can either try to do a short driving nap beforehand, to take the edge off of his fatigue. But if he won’t fall asleep that early and doesn’t get the nap, be sure to adjust bedtime significantly earlier – he’ll be ready, with all of that increased activity at school. Whatever you do, don’t let your child nap very late into the afternoon, as this will cause him to stay awake till all hours.

If a child who’s given up his nap is still at home, you can direct him to some quiet time, with or without your participation, either in his room or in a quiet corner of your home – say, a child-size table in your family room – that includes low-key activities such as coloring, playing with blocks, or working on a puzzle. Avoid screen time during this rest, which will only key him up more. The duration of quiet time depends on the child – some will be happy to play quietly for as much as 45 minutes to an hour; others will be able to tolerate only 20 minutes. Any quiet time is beneficial.

See our links below for sample schedules – and good luck with all of your nap transitions!

The range of transitioning to one nap is 12 to 24 months, though the norm is about 14-16 months.  When your child resists the second nap consistently (more than half of the time), and/or the second nap is beginning to interfere with her ability to settle at night, it’s time to transition to one nap. Welcome to yet another “Yuck Zone,” where your child will resist the second nap but won’t seem rested enough – or won’t sleep long enough – with only one. On some days, your child may need a second “blip” nap, and other days one nap will suffice.

When shifting from 2 naps to 1, your child will sleep about the same amount that she did before in two naps, now consolidated into one chunk (usually 90 minutes to 3 hours total). You’ll now need to help him stretch his daytime wake window far enough into the morning that you have approximately equal amounts of time between wakeup for the day and the start of the first nap, and end of the nap and bedtime. For example, if your child usually goes to bed at 7:30 and wakes at 6:30, you can try for a 12:00 putdown (5.5 hours from wakeup); if he slept till 1:30, you’d have 5.5 hours till bedtime.  Many kids need to start out at an earlier naptime, such as 11:30; if your child has been napping earlier, say at 10:30, stretch him slowly, in 15-minute increments over a period of several days.

What to do about lunch once your child is napping once a day?  It’s a bit of a catch-22 when the nap is on the earlier side, but you basically have two choices: do an early lunch beforehand, and a hefty snack after the nap to tide him over till dinner; or, do a hefty snack before the nap and lunch after, particularly if your family eats dinner on the later side.

Some tips for transitioning to one nap:

• Your child may initially have trouble sleeping more than one hour, or longer than the length of her previous first nap. Try to keep her in the crib for at least 90 minutes total, extending her cribtime past when she wakes so she has the opportunity to go back to sleep and learn how to stretch. Check in if you need to – and if she’s not crying, you may want to leave her even longer.
• Be patient; this transition takes time, and it may be a couple of weeks until your child can nap at least 1.5 hours consistently.
• Adjust bedtime earlier temporarily – 15 to 45 minutes, depending on how shy of typical nap totals your child is – to avoid overtiredness and the dreaded cortisol effects!
• Your child may need a very short blip second nap in the late afternoon every 4-5 days while on the way with this transition.  It’s fine to allow him to sleep in the stroller (if he will) or the car if you’re running errands. Make sure the blip nap ends within 2.5 hours of bedtime.

For sample schedules for a child transitioning to one nap, click here.

To determine whether your child is truly transitioning from 3 to 2 naps, make sure to rule out acute teething (cutting a tooth through the gum), illness, a brand-new motor milestone (such as crawling), or other circumstances that would temporarily affect naps (such as a move or a trip).

You do not need to decide when it is time to transition from 3 to 2 naps; your baby will let you know when it’s time by changing her nap patterns. Somewhere between 6 and 9 months, your baby’s third nap will begin to shrink slowly (eventually dwindling to perhaps only a 10 or 15 minutes “blip”) until it disappears altogether. (Blip naps are usually easiest to get in a car or stroller, if you have that option.) Gradually, your child will begin to resist taking the third nap entirely; when she refuses this nap consistently for 4 to 6 days in a row, she is ready to drop the nap. Warning: you will then enter what we fondly call the “Yuck Zone,” where three naps seem like too many but two naps don’t seem like enough. On some days your child may still need a third “blip” nap, and on other days two longer naps will seem sufficient.  The key is to follow her lead, allowing for a bit more flexibility with naps until she has fully transitioned to two naps (this usually takes one to two weeks).

When your child transitions from 3 naps to 2 naps, you’ll need to adjust her daytime wake windows later by 30 minutes each, so that the first nap is scheduled 2.5 hours after wake time and the second nap is scheduled 3 hours after the end of the first nap. So if your child wakes at 6:30 am, move the first nap to 9 am. If she sleeps an hour, the second nap will now occur at 1 pm. Also remember to adjust your bedtime earlier at night temporarily to avoid  overtiredness (and the dreaded cortisiol effect), as she’ll have longer to stretch now between her last nap and bedtime.

To see sample schedules for a baby transitioning from 3 to 2 naps, click here.

Remember, the sample schedules and waketimes windows we offer are guidelines that will work well for most babies, but there will always be babies who can’t quite stretch as long, or who can stretch longer than average. Aim to put your baby down for a nap before she’s overtired (rubbing her eyes or fussy) but long enough after the last sleep period that she’s tired enough to go down and stay down for the right length of time.

Last thing: there’s a reason we titled the nap chapter in our book, The Sleepeasy Solution, “The Art of the Nap”!  Naps have a lot of moving parts (timing, environment, way that the baby goes to sleep, the way you respond to her if she’s learning) that need to coordinate for a nap to go well. Fine-tuning naps can take 1-2 weeks, so hang in there and stay positive!

Coming soon: transitioning from 2 naps to 1 nap

• Pack less toys and pack quiet toys. Small kids are often interested in new things, which includes the air sickness bag in the pocket (graba pen, draw a face and have a puppet show), in-flight magazines and the emergency landing card (talk about colors, airplanes, slides, funny vests). Pack a surprise bag of small, wrapped toys they haven’t seen yet.  On the plane, this is also the time to put away your book or iPhone until they’re sleeping. Your small children (and your neighbors seated nearby) will be happiest with all of your attention on your children.
• Pack more diapers/wipes/extra change of clothes. I average a diaper per hour for babies under six months, and a diaper every two hours for babies six to twelve months. Yes, it’s a lot, especially if you’re traveling internationally, but you don’t want to be looking for diapers in the middle of traveling. Pack at least two packs of wipes and split them between bags. I had someone walk off with my suitcase at baggage claim after a 12-hour flight and having extra diapers & wipes in my carry-on was a lifesaver.
• Plan your food options. No matter how or where you’re traveling, bring food along for your child. Options while traveling can be limited and your child might be hungry outside of meal times served on planes or between rest stops, not to mention being stuck on a frozen runway. Pack at least one well-loved snack for take-off and landing; the chewing and swallowing will make the pressure changes much more comfortable. Keep an eye on the sugar content – you don’t want to be trapped in a plane or car with sugar-highed kids!
• Most importantly, relax. Kids can pick up on your tension and become even more upset, so keep your destination in mind, stay calm and do whatever is needed to keep your children safe and content. If that means a friend along to help, then do it. Years from now, you want your children to fondly remember the fun holiday visiting Grandma and Grandpa. (You can fill them in on the chaos and drama when they have their own children!)

Read more on flying with kids from a mother and flight attendant at Flying With Children.  For more tips on keeping sleep on track while traveling, click here.

Many thanks to guest blogger Vahnee for these great travel tips!  Find her blog at www.crunchyparenting.com, or follow her on Twitter.

Before bed, turn clocks ahead 1 hour.  If your child normally sleeps till 6:30 AM, the next morning she will likely sleep till 7:30 AM.  Her entire schedule – naps and bedtime – will then shift one hour later.

If you’re happy about this change, great!  Just protect her room from too much light in the early morning, and use white noise so she won’t wake with the birds.

If you’d rather help your child get back to her usual schedule, try the following:

1.  Put your child down at her regular bedtime, say 7:30 PM, on Saturday night.

2. Set your alarm for 6:30 AM (according to the new clock) and wake your child at this time.  To her, it will feel like it’s 5:30 AM, but don’t worry.  She’ll be tired, but she’ll adjust.

3.  If your child naps, put her down at her normal nap time according to the new clock and resume a normal schedule from there.  Don’t allow her to nap longer than usual.

4.  On Sunday night, put her down at her usual bedtime according to the new time.

Excerpted from our book The Sleepeasy Solution: The Exhausted Parent’s Guide to Getting Your Child to Sleep

Is it worth battling your child to get them buckled up?  Most definitely.  It’s the law, and it’s also the most important way to protect your child during car rides.  In fact, telling your verbal child that getting buckled into his carseat will help him stay safe is your best answer to any protesting.  (And if he’s into police officers or firemen, you can tell him that they want kids to buckle up, too!)

Before we share our tips, let’s just pause for a moment and think about the word “tantrum.”  This word tends to get overused – it’s come to mean almost any strong expression of protest or upset feelings.  What you should know is that even if you follow all of our tips, your child might just plain not like getting into her carseat, and that’s OK.  She’s allowed to not like it.  The goal isn’t necessarily to get her to feel differently about riding in the car (though by following some of our suggestions, that may happen!), but rather having everyone – including you – enjoy a much calmer ride.

And so … our favorite tips.

Tips for All Children:

• Whenever possible, avoid car rides when your child is hungry.  If you’ll be on a longer road trip, bring plenty of snacks and foods your child likes.
• The way you communicate with your child before getting into the car helps set the tone for what kind of experience you’re going to have.  Before getting into the car, calmly and clearly explain to your child what will happen: “In a few minutes, we’re going to get your coat on, and then we’re going to get in the car and go to music class.  I have a snack for you to eat on the way, and we’ll bringing Blankie, too.  We’ll listen to that silly song about goldfish while we drive.”  Even if you believe your child is too young to understand what you’re saying, it’s respectful to give her a heads-up about what’s happening.
• If car rides are usually stressful, you’re probably feeling tense yourself – so take a few deep breaths and try to calm yourself before you get into the car, and again during the car ride when your child starts to escalate.  When you are more relaxed, your child has a better chance of calming, too.

Tips for Babies:

• Whenever possible, plan car trips around baby’s naptime so he’ll be more likely to fall asleep.
• Some babies stay more calm with a white noise CD playing while you drive – turn it up as loud as the baby’s cries.  Others may enjoy soothing music, such as classical.
• Clip a toy bar to the sides of the seat so baby has something to look at while she’s riding.
• Bring a favorite lovey for him to hold for comfort.  Rub your scent on it before you hand it to him.
• Place a mirror on the backseat so you and your baby can see each other while you’re driving.  Smile and wave to him when you’re stopped at a light.
• Talk to the baby while you’re driving, even if she’s very upset.  Offer some reassurance: “I know you really, really don’t like riding in the car.  I’m so sorry this is hard for you.  We’ll be there soon!”
• If there are two adults, one can ride in the back with the baby and help keep her amused.  Be sure to keep baby in her carseat, though.
• Some babies will stay more settled if you install window shades on the back windows and pull them down while you’re driving.  These babies seem to get overwhelmed by the world whooshing by in their peripheral vision.

Tips for Toddlers:

• 15 minutes before it’s time to get into the car, give your toddler some runaround time to get some energy out of his body.  By the time he gets into the car, he should be more amenable to sitting and resting for a while.
• Give two transitional warnings before getting into the car – one 10 minutes in advance, and another at 5 minutes.  This will help him shift gears from whatever he’s doing.
• When it’s time to go, suggest a fun way to get there: “Would you like to walk to the car or hop?”  “Let’s see how many steps it takes to get there – 1, 2, 3…”  “Let’s walk the same way together – left foot first, then right foot…”  Or, blow a trail of bubbles and let your child catch them – count together how many clouds are in the sky – be creative and have fun!
• Little ones like to do things for themselves.  Get a stepstool for her to climb onto so she can get herself into the car.  Ask her to help hand you the seatbelt, and help you buckle it too.
• Toddlers can feel a loss of control when getting strapped into their seats.  Give her an important job, such as putting her in charge of making sure that everyone’s seatbelt is buckled.  Or, ask her to make sure there are no cars coming as you’re backing out of the driveway.
• Let your child pick the music she’d like to hear.
• Get a special backpack for the car and fill it with small fun things she gets to play with only when she’s riding.  Contents can include a book, a stuffed animal, a magnetic doodle pad, other small toys.  Older kids in booster seats can play with window stickers or window markers.  Remember to switch up the items every couple of weeks so they’re still engaging.
• Tell your child that he can have his sippy cup or backpack, or listen to his favorite music, only after he’s buckled in with his seatbelt.
• If your child is expressing his dislike of the car in no uncertain terms, default to the feelings.  “I know you hate being in your carseat.  You wish we were already at the park, playing on the swings.  It’s no fun to sit back there by yourself.”  Just feeling heard will help him calm.
• Ask your child to look out the window and find all the things that are red, all the things that are blue, etc.  Or, ask him if he can see the garbage truck you’ve spotted, or the girl walking her dog, or the coffee shop you go to on weekends.
• If your child becomes extremely upset and you happen to be on the way to somewhere he really wants to go, pull over and tell him that you will begin driving again when he calms down.
• Give her milestones so she can gauge your progress: “Two more streets, then we’ll be turning left.  After that, there’s only one light, and then we’ll be there!”
• On road trips, make frequent stops to allow your child to get out of the car and move his body.  Toddlers hate to be sitting for long periods.

Last but not least, when you get to your destination, give yourself a huge pat on the back for hanging in there!  Difficult car rides are not easy.  The good news is that as kids get older, they will outgrow their strong dislike of the car.  Your next battle, though, will be who gets to sit in the front seat!

Sunday, November 6

This weekend, it’s time to move clocks back one hour. This is the time change that we loved in college, but we hate as parents – especially if you’ve got young children who are already early risers. Whipping up breakfast at 4:30 a.m. is not exactly a solution. Armed with a game plan and a little patience, though, your child should adjust to the new time change after three or four days.

The Night Before

On Saturday, November 5, put your children to sleep at their normal bedtime. If it’s typically 7:30 p.m., stick with that. Then before you go to sleep, move every clock in your house back one hour.

Day One: Early Wake Up

You hear a cry from the crib or the pitter-patter of little feet popping out of the toddler bed. You check your bedside clock. It’s 5 a.m.! Gulp. Bad news: It’s time to get up. After all, your child is rested and ready to start her day. It’s unrealistic to ask her to sleep in because all she’s doing is getting up at her normal time anyway. Hang in there!

Day One: Getting on the New Schedule

For babies:  If your baby still naps, stretch him as far as you can toward his normal first nap time (according to the current clock). So, if your child wakes at 5:00 AM (according to the current clock), his body will want to nap 1 hour earlier than normal. Don’t let him! Instead, do whatever it takes to keep him awake. Give him a bath or do the Hokey Pokey around the house to keep him up as close to his normal first nap time as possible, then follow his usual schedule thereafter. Don’t let him nap too long, as doing so may continue to cause early morning wakings.

For toddlers:  If you normally serve lunch to your child at noon, try to make it to noon today, too. Serve an extra-big snack midmorning to help stave off hunger. Then put your child down for her nap at her usual time, say that’s 1 p.m. (even though she will feel like it’s 2 p.m.). Don’t let her oversleep during that first nap—wake her up at her normal wake-up time.

If your child is too old for naps, just push all your regular activities, such as going to the park, library and eating dinner, to the correct “new” times.

Day One: Bedtime Feels Late

Bedtime should be 7:30 p.m. (or whatever time it is in your home) as usual, even though your child will feel like it’s 8:30 p.m. Yes, she may be cranky and tired, but hopefully her body is already getting used to the new schedule.

Day Two: Wake-up Time Inches Up

For older kids, use a nightlight that changes colors when it’s time to wake up, such as the Good Nite Lite ($34.99), if you have a child who’s an early riser. If your child normally woke at 6 a.m., then set the nightlight to announce “wake up” at 5:30 a.m. on morning number two. By day three, you can push it to 5:45 a.m. and then to 6 a.m. by day four. Even if you don’t have a special nightlight or clock, just stick with the new schedule. Soon enough, your child will be back to waking up only sort of too early instead of “Are you crazy!?” early.