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(This is Part 3 of our three-part series on nap transitions.)

The nap at 3 years may get even later, pushing toward 1 or 2 pm and ending around 3:30 or so. Most children start to give up their nap somewhere between 3 and 4 years. However, your child may continue to nap as late as age 5 (if you’re lucky!), and some kids do transition earlier. As with other nap transitions, you’ll know your child is ready to give up the nap when either (1) he begins to consistently refuse his nap, either chatting, talking, or playing in his bed at length, or crying and protesting; or (2) the nap becomes so late that it interferes with his ability to go to bed at night earlier than 8:30 (the latest bedtime we recommend through age 5). Remember to rule out acute teething, illness, or other unusual circumstances (such as a new baby in the home) when determining whether your child is truly ready to give up his nap.

When your child begins to transition from one nap to none, you’ll enter the last “Yuck Zone” where he will vacillate between needing and refusing a nap. For a while, you can follow his lead: when he does nap, maintain the bedtime as usual. If he refuses the nap, however, you’ll need to put him to bed unusually early (by as much as 1 hour, if necessary). You can “cheat” by driving for the nap for a little while if the car puts him to sleep – though many parents who experiment with trying to do only one short “blip” nap in the late afternoon, even in the car, often greet a very cranky bear upon waking, and if that’s the case for you it isn’t worth trying for it. When you make the leap to giving up the nap entirely, your child will be able to stay up till his usual bedtime after a few weeks. Bonus: after they’ve given up their nap, many kids will actually tack on additional sleep to their nighttime total, sleeping as much as 12 or 13 hours straight through. Enjoy it while it lasts!

A lot of parents worry about a child being forced to give up his nap before he is ready, due to preschool schedules beginning in the summer or fall. Usually this is the case for a child scheduled in an afternoon program. If this is the case for you, you can either try to do a short driving nap beforehand, to take the edge off of his fatigue. But if he won’t fall asleep that early and doesn’t get the nap, be sure to adjust bedtime significantly earlier – he’ll be ready, with all of that increased activity at school. Whatever you do, don’t let your child nap very late into the afternoon, as this will cause him to stay awake till all hours.

If a child who’s given up his nap is still at home, you can direct him to some quiet time, with or without your participation, either in his room or in a quiet corner of your home – say, a child-size table in your family room – that includes low-key activities such as coloring, playing with blocks, or working on a puzzle. Avoid screen time during this rest, which will only key him up more. The duration of quiet time depends on the child – some will be happy to play quietly for as much as 45 minutes to an hour; others will be able to tolerate only 20 minutes. Any quiet time is beneficial.

See our links below for sample schedules – and good luck with all of your nap transitions!

(This is Part 1 of our three-part series on nap transitions.)

To determine whether your child is truly transitioning from 3 to 2 naps, make sure to rule out acute teething (cutting a tooth through the gum), illness, a brand-new motor milestone (such as crawling), or other circumstances that would temporarily affect naps (such as a move or a trip).

You do not need to decide when it is time to transition from 3 to 2 naps; your baby will let you know when it’s time by changing her nap patterns. Somewhere between 6 and 9 months, your baby’s third nap will begin to shrink slowly (eventually dwindling to perhaps only a 10 or 15 minutes “blip”) until it disappears altogether. (Blip naps are usually easiest to get in a car or stroller, if you have that option.) Gradually, your child will begin to resist taking the third nap entirely; when she refuses this nap consistently for 4 to 6 days in a row, she is ready to drop the nap. Warning: you will then enter what we fondly call the “Yuck Zone,” where three naps seem like too many but two naps don’t seem like enough. On some days your child may still need a third “blip” nap, and on other days two longer naps will seem sufficient.  The key is to follow her lead, allowing for a bit more flexibility with naps until she has fully transitioned to two naps (this usually takes one to two weeks).

When your child transitions from 3 naps to 2 naps, you’ll need to adjust her daytime wake windows later by 30 minutes each, so that the first nap is scheduled 2.5 hours after wake time and the second nap is scheduled 3 hours after the end of the first nap. So if your child wakes at 6:30 am, move the first nap to 9 am. If she sleeps an hour, the second nap will now occur at 1 pm. Also remember to adjust your bedtime earlier at night temporarily to avoid  overtiredness (and the dreaded cortisiol effect), as she’ll have longer to stretch now between her last nap and bedtime.

To see sample schedules for a baby transitioning from 3 to 2 naps, click here.

Remember, the sample schedules and waketimes windows we offer are guidelines that will work well for most babies, but there will always be babies who can’t quite stretch as long, or who can stretch longer than average. Aim to put your baby down for a nap before she’s overtired (rubbing her eyes or fussy) but long enough after the last sleep period that she’s tired enough to go down and stay down for the right length of time.

Last thing: there’s a reason we titled the nap chapter in our book, The Sleepeasy Solution, “The Art of the Nap”!  Naps have a lot of moving parts (timing, environment, way that the baby goes to sleep, the way you respond to her if she’s learning) that need to coordinate for a nap to go well. Fine-tuning naps can take 1-2 weeks, so hang in there and stay positive!

Coming soon: transitioning from 2 naps to 1 nap

You know spring is just around the corner when it’s time to turn the clocks ahead! Follow these guidelines to ensure that your little one transitions smoothly.

Before bed, turn clocks ahead 1 hour.  If your child normally sleeps till 6:30 AM, the next morning she will likely sleep till 7:30 AM.  Her entire schedule – naps and bedtime – will then shift one hour later.

If you’re happy about this change, great!  Just protect her room from too much light in the early morning, and use white noise so she won’t wake with the birds.

If you’d rather help your child get back to her usual schedule, try the following:

1.  Put your child down at her regular bedtime, say 7:30 PM, on Saturday night.

2. Set your alarm for 6:30 AM (according to the new clock) and wake your child at this time.  To her, it will feel like it’s 5:30 AM, but don’t worry.  She’ll be tired, but she’ll adjust.

3.  If your child naps, put her down at her normal nap time according to the new clock and resume a normal schedule from there.  Don’t allow her to nap longer than usual.

4.  On Sunday night, put her down at her usual bedtime according to the new time.

Excerpted from our book The Sleepeasy Solution: The Exhausted Parent’s Guide to Getting Your Child to Sleep

Why is it that some little ones just seem to hate riding in the car?  For babies, it can be an overwhelming experience for sensory systems that aren’t fully developed yet; for busy, active toddlers, being “strapped in” can feel like torture.  If you have one of those kids who just conks out the minute the car starts rolling, count your blessings and make an offering to the sleep gods!  For the rest of you, read on.

Is it worth battling your child to get them buckled up?  Most definitely.  It’s the law, and it’s also the most important way to protect your child during car rides.  In fact, telling your verbal child that getting buckled into his carseat will help him stay safe is your best answer to any protesting.  (And if he’s into police officers or firemen, you can tell him that they want kids to buckle up, too!)

Before we share our tips, let’s just pause for a moment and think about the word “tantrum.”  This word tends to get overused – it’s come to mean almost any strong expression of protest or upset feelings.  What you should know is that even if you follow all of our tips, your child might just plain not like getting into her carseat, and that’s OK.  She’s allowed to not like it.  The goal isn’t necessarily to get her to feel differently about riding in the car (though by following some of our suggestions, that may happen!), but rather having everyone – including you – enjoy a much calmer ride.

And so … our favorite tips.

Tips for All Children:

• Whenever possible, avoid car rides when your child is hungry.  If you’ll be on a longer road trip, bring plenty of snacks and foods your child likes.
• The way you communicate with your child before getting into the car helps set the tone for what kind of experience you’re going to have.  Before getting into the car, calmly and clearly explain to your child what will happen: “In a few minutes, we’re going to get your coat on, and then we’re going to get in the car and go to music class.  I have a snack for you to eat on the way, and we’ll bringing Blankie, too.  We’ll listen to that silly song about goldfish while we drive.”  Even if you believe your child is too young to understand what you’re saying, it’s respectful to give her a heads-up about what’s happening.
• If car rides are usually stressful, you’re probably feeling tense yourself – so take a few deep breaths and try to calm yourself before you get into the car, and again during the car ride when your child starts to escalate.  When you are more relaxed, your child has a better chance of calming, too.

Tips for Babies:

• Whenever possible, plan car trips around baby’s naptime so he’ll be more likely to fall asleep.
• Some babies stay more calm with a white noise CD playing while you drive – turn it up as loud as the baby’s cries.  Others may enjoy soothing music, such as classical.
• Clip a toy bar to the sides of the seat so baby has something to look at while she’s riding.
• Bring a favorite lovey for him to hold for comfort.  Rub your scent on it before you hand it to him.
• Place a mirror on the backseat so you and your baby can see each other while you’re driving.  Smile and wave to him when you’re stopped at a light.
• Talk to the baby while you’re driving, even if she’s very upset.  Offer some reassurance: “I know you really, really don’t like riding in the car.  I’m so sorry this is hard for you.  We’ll be there soon!”
• If there are two adults, one can ride in the back with the baby and help keep her amused.  Be sure to keep baby in her carseat, though.
• Some babies will stay more settled if you install window shades on the back windows and pull them down while you’re driving.  These babies seem to get overwhelmed by the world whooshing by in their peripheral vision.

Tips for Toddlers:

• 15 minutes before it’s time to get into the car, give your toddler some runaround time to get some energy out of his body.  By the time he gets into the car, he should be more amenable to sitting and resting for a while.
• Give two transitional warnings before getting into the car – one 10 minutes in advance, and another at 5 minutes.  This will help him shift gears from whatever he’s doing.
• When it’s time to go, suggest a fun way to get there: “Would you like to walk to the car or hop?”  “Let’s see how many steps it takes to get there – 1, 2, 3…”  “Let’s walk the same way together – left foot first, then right foot…”  Or, blow a trail of bubbles and let your child catch them – count together how many clouds are in the sky – be creative and have fun!
• Little ones like to do things for themselves.  Get a stepstool for her to climb onto so she can get herself into the car.  Ask her to help hand you the seatbelt, and help you buckle it too.
• Toddlers can feel a loss of control when getting strapped into their seats.  Give her an important job, such as putting her in charge of making sure that everyone’s seatbelt is buckled.  Or, ask her to make sure there are no cars coming as you’re backing out of the driveway.
• Let your child pick the music she’d like to hear.
• Get a special backpack for the car and fill it with small fun things she gets to play with only when she’s riding.  Contents can include a book, a stuffed animal, a magnetic doodle pad, other small toys.  Older kids in booster seats can play with window stickers or window markers.  Remember to switch up the items every couple of weeks so they’re still engaging.
• Tell your child that he can have his sippy cup or backpack, or listen to his favorite music, only after he’s buckled in with his seatbelt.
• If your child is expressing his dislike of the car in no uncertain terms, default to the feelings.  “I know you hate being in your carseat.  You wish we were already at the park, playing on the swings.  It’s no fun to sit back there by yourself.”  Just feeling heard will help him calm.
• Ask your child to look out the window and find all the things that are red, all the things that are blue, etc.  Or, ask him if he can see the garbage truck you’ve spotted, or the girl walking her dog, or the coffee shop you go to on weekends.
• If your child becomes extremely upset and you happen to be on the way to somewhere he really wants to go, pull over and tell him that you will begin driving again when he calms down.
• Give her milestones so she can gauge your progress: “Two more streets, then we’ll be turning left.  After that, there’s only one light, and then we’ll be there!”
• On road trips, make frequent stops to allow your child to get out of the car and move his body.  Toddlers hate to be sitting for long periods.

Last but not least, when you get to your destination, give yourself a huge pat on the back for hanging in there!  Difficult car rides are not easy.  The good news is that as kids get older, they will outgrow their strong dislike of the car.  Your next battle, though, will be who gets to sit in the front seat!